What Really Gives » Funny Tidbits

Recent Conclusions of a Sports Guy

Who Gives — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 16:54:38 +0000

Just a couple quick things I’d like to conclude after sitting on my couch sipping my coffee:

1. I’ll borrow this one from ESPNs Stuart Scott: The Celtics & Lakers have combined to win more than half of the total amount of NBA Championships played (33 of 63). Celtics of course have the most, with 17.

2. The Pro Bowl is a joke. It’s even worse that it comes before the Super Bowl this year. That way, the best players can’t even play. That’s awesome, way to go Roger Goodell.

3. Peyton Manning is a ding a ling. Go Saints.

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Man Pays Neighbor to Impregnate Wife

Who Gives — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 01:03:41 +0000

There’s more to it than meets the eye…

So a German guy figures since he’s sterile, he should just pay his neighbor $2,500 to impregnate his wife. So you think that’s all there is to it? No, not at all. The neighbor’s wife was completely against it from the starts, but this guy “is doing it for the money.” So he proceeds to try 72 times to impregnate the wife of the man who paid him to do so. Well, I’ll let you read the rest here…

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Two Hole in Ones?

Who Gives — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 02:06:26 +0000

A West Virginia Retiree hit TWO CONSECUTIVE hole-in-ones while golfing recently. This 70 year old dude made a hole in one, took a short snack break where I’m sure he rubbed it in his friends faces, and proceeded to get up for his next hole and bury another hole in one. This guy must be superman. Look out, Tiger Woods, here comes Carl Smith.

Oh, and he bowls as well? Consecutive strikes, anyone?

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Peace Cereal Not So Peaceful

Who Gives — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 01:37:49 +0000

This one is pretty good. An Oregon based cereal company recently had to recall thousands of boxes of cereal after customers called the number on the back and were greeted by a sexy voice saying “Do you like sex? Isn’t that why you’re here.”

Woops. Looks like Peace Cereal wants their customers to get a piece of something else. A typo in the company’s 800 number led hundreds of disgruntled customers to this sex line.

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New Washing Machine Uses Just 1 Cup of Water

Who Gives — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:46:56 +0000

This is pretty sweet, it is set to come out this year. This new washing machine uses just one cup of water. That is apparent less than 2% of the total amount of water a normal washing machine uses. Wait, that’s not all. When the machine stops running, the clothes are almost completely dry! I guess the machine uses tiny pieces of plastic to help remove stains. Check it out here.

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Meat Fail – FailBlog.org

Who Gives — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 01:49:23 +0000

see more pwn and owned pictures

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Naked Dawn

Who Gives — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 01:23:50 +0000

“Naked Dawn” Trailer (w/ Rob Schneider, Mena Suvari and Vinnie Jones) Re-Uploaded and Safer-For-Work from Rob Schneider

Unbelievably funny video featuring Rob Schneider. Definitely check it out. Pokes fun at the movie “Defiance” with Daniel Craig (Quantum of Solace & Casino Royale).

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Guy Punches Mom in the Face…

Who Gives — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:55:02 +0000

…After she catches him masterbating in the backyard! Are you kidddddddddddding me dude what’s wrong with you? Can’t you just do it in the bathroom or your bedroom, or perhaps not at all!? In the backyard of all places, and then when your mother catches you, you walk around to the front door, ring the doorbell, have her scream in your face when she comes to the door, and then decide to punch her square in the face. Wait, it all makes perfect sense. You’re an idiot.

So let me set you all straight. Yes, he this 19 year old was caught masterbating in his backyard, and punched his mother in the face after she caught him. And yes of course he got arrested, because that’s assault, and that’s against the law. And masterbating is against the bible, for what that’s worth.

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Man Gets DUI & Claims His Own Sovereignty

Who Gives — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 00:30:58 +0000

Well that’s what I would do too. It’s the only logical thing to do. Why plead guilty to a DUI when you can just plead you are your own country to a DUI, and look like even more of an asshole. Well Scott Allan Witmer, I have news for you: You are not your own country. You were arrested in THESE United States, and yes, there are only 50 of them, and yes, you’re dumb. Now everyone is going to think this poor guy is crazy. It’s bad enough being labeled by your peers and others watching the news as “that guy that got a DUI,” but now the adjective “crazy” is going to be attached to that same label. Ever here the saying “Keep It Simple Stupid?” It was specifically scripted for guys like this.

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Maine – The Way Life Should Be

Who Gives — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 01:21:32 +0000

Or so we thought. A lot of us like to go skiing in Maine. And it’s usually pretty great, right? Wrong, or at least according to CBSNews. Apparently, skiers are being warned about night skiing owl attacks! Hahaha this is great. I’m sure it would be absolutely dreadful to be attacked by an owl, but how often do you see owls go after human beings? I wouldn’t mind seeing this on something like America’s Funniest Videos – something like that with a happy ending. Like this one – these little guys look so harmless.

Careful Mainers. I went to school up there. Expect the unexpected.

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